


When time stood still for love

by la_esperance



Category: xxxHoLic
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-27
Updated: 2012-10-27
Packaged: 2017-11-17 03:33:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/547177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/la_esperance/pseuds/la_esperance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>AU-ish because of an established relationship. Set during Watanuki’s ownership of the shop. Oh man. I have no words for how pissed I still am with what Clamp has done with this series. Seriously, when I read the last chapter, all I could think of was: FFFFFUUUUUUUUU!!!! So here I am, channelling that rage into a fic based on different tracks from the xxxHolic soundtrack by S.E.N.S. Project.</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. Deja View

**Author's Note:**

> AU-ish because of an established relationship. Set during Watanuki’s ownership of the shop. Oh man. I have no words for how pissed I still am with what Clamp has done with this series. Seriously, when I read the last chapter, all I could think of was: FFFFFUUUUUUUUU!!!! So here I am, channelling that rage into a fic based on different tracks from the xxxHolic soundtrack by S.E.N.S. Project.

_“Doumeki? Based simply on the feeling I get from his name, I think he’s more compatible with you.” Yuuko said with a small smile._

_Watanuki felt his ears redden at that. What the hell? She didn’t even know just how annoying Doumeki was and yet she was saying they were more compatible? He threw his arms in the air and exclaimed, “Don’t joke around! He’s an outrageous person!”_

_He began to list all of Doumeki’s faults but Yuuko was clearly not listening as a customer had entered the shop, leaving Watanuki to sulk over such an unlikely prediction._

 

The moment Watanuki heard the muffled shuffle of feet, he knew that the rest of the day would be spoiled. Of all days too! He had plans with Doumeki that night and it was just too bad if something should ruin it. He took a long drag from the pipe and exhaled the smoke slowly. Well, there was nothing for it. If a customer was coming, it was inevitable. There was no point in whining.

Still...

Years had passed since Watanuki inherited the shop and no one could deny that his powers had grown by leaps and bound since then. Now, he could sense the nature of a customer’s wish. Mind, it didn’t mean he knew exactly what they wished for but he could tell somewhat as the customer crossed the barrier.

A week before he had sensed that the old woman’s wish had something to do with family. True enough, her husband was suffering from a mental disorder and all she wanted was that he would never forget her and their family. Two days ago, it was a desperate young man who had lost something. It turned out that he was going by a false name because he had lost his true name in a gamble with a spirit.

Today...

Watanuki laid down the pipe and straightened his robes. Today, the customer’s wish had something to do with the heart. And why not? It was Valentines. There was bound to be someone wishing for love or something along that line. That annoyed Watanuki just a little. Sure, he could grant wishes but he had limits as well. The first was that he would never grant a wish that would require such a heavy payment as a life. The second was that he would never do anything that would involve altering a person completely.

As most wishes that had to do with love went, they were bound to fall under the second limitation.

The screen doors slid open and Maru and Moro led a young woman inside. Taking the young woman’s hands, Maru and Moro gently pulled her to Doumeki. She was of average height with a slim body. Pale skin stood out against dark brown curls that bounced with every step. The closer she got, the more Watanuki couldn’t help feeling uncomfortable.

Her desire for her wish to be granted was so strong that it brought back memories of a similar situation years before. A woman had wanted to be Doumeki’s girlfriend so badly that her body and soul had separated. He felt a prickle at the back of his neck as he remembered that event. 

“Master,” Maru and Moro said in unison, “A customer for you.”

Watanuki smiled and thanked them. Maru and Moro giggled and leapt towards him. He ruffled their hair as they settled beside him on the couch. The young woman remained silent, with her hands behind her back.

“Good afternoon.” Watanuki said, “You have a wish, don’t you? Something that has to do with love?”

At those words, it was as if a lock had been opened. The young woman’s eyes widened as she gasped. “How did you know that?”

He tilted his head to one side, “Your coming here means that you have a wish you want granted and because it’s Valentines, I guessed that it had something to do with love.”

She nodded, “Yes, that is true. There is a junior professor in my university and I’ve admired him for several months now...” She took a few steps forward and Watanuki clearly saw on her face her _admiration_ for this professor.

“It’s just that...” She continued, “He seems so aloof. I just...When I see him, I wish he would only see me too.”

His eyebrow shot up at the word aloof and against his better judgment, Watanuki asked who this professor was.

“Doumeki Shizuka.” The woman answered.

Instantly, Watanuki felt his stomach plummeting. Oh no, not again! He wanted to smack his head against the wall. Why, for the love of heaven, did women keep falling head over heels for Doumeki? Why did Doumeki’s pheromones insist on giving him trouble?

He struggled to maintain a straight face. He’d have to tell her that there were several reasons he couldn’t grant her wish. There was that self-imposed limitation among other things.

“Can you grant my wish?” The woman whispered.

Watanuki gave the woman that meaningful smile he had practiced everyday as a way of avoiding the question. Instead, he said, “When he notices you, will you be happy then?”

The woman bit her lip as she thought for a few seconds. Finally, she said, “No. I want him to love me as much as I love him.”

_Which isn’t very much_ , Watanuki thought. _Yours is just a passing fancy which you’ve mistaken for love._

“I want him to be mine, my own.” The woman said suddenly.

“Ah” Watanuki said as he stood up, “Then we have a problem there, don’t we? One can never own another person. I’m sorry but I cannot grant your wish.”

She frowned, “But I thought that this shop could grant any wish!”

“It can.” Watanuki replied, “But the price for your wish—”

“I’ll pay anything!” The woman all but shouted, “I’ll do anything even if—”

She stopped herself at the same time Watanuki’s eyes flew to the doors that were being opened by none other than the subject of the wish. Doumeki’s gaze flitted from the young woman to Watanuki then back to the woman.

“Oh.” He murmured, “You have a customer. I’m sorry to have barged in. Excuse me.”

“Doumeki-sensei!” The woman exclaimed, her hand flying to her chest.

Doumeki turned to her, “Do I know you, miss?”

Before Watanuki could do anything, she ran to Doumeki and took his hand in hers. “I am Ezawa Miyuki. I’m a grad student at the university you teach in. Please, please say you’ll have me. I promise I will make you happy. I’ll do anything for you. I’ll be anything for you. I _love_ you!”

Despite the almost bland expression, Watanuki knew that Doumeki was just as bewildered as he was by what was going on. The young woman kept rambling on about her love for him and what she was willing to do. It almost made Watanuki feel just sorry for her. Poor girl. She’d have to understand that she and Doumeki were not meant to be.

Watanuki made his way to them but stopped when he saw Doumeki looking at him with a strange expression on his face. It was like Doumeki was telling him to stay out of it because this one was something that Doumeki would handle himself. Watanuki opened his mouth to protest but Doumeki gave him a stern look and shook his head.

At last, the woman stopped babbling. She clasped Doumeki’s hand tighter. “Doumeki-san?”

Doumeki looked down, slowly removing his hand from her grasp. “I’m sorry.” He said, “I cannot give you what you wish for.”

It took a few moments for the words to sink in but when it did, the woman inhaled sharply and backed away from him, “Why? You don’t have a wife or a girlfriend!”

“That is true.” Doumeki said and the glance he gave Watanuki sent shivers down Watanuki’s spine.

“Then how is it impossible? Is there someone else you long for? I’m here for you! Forget that person!” She exclaimed almost madly and Watanuki did feel sorry for her then.

Doumeki shook his head, “I am sorry. I don’t wish for you to be unhappy but what you ask for is impossible.”

The woman raised her hands to her face as tears trickled down her cheek. Then, with a stifled cry, she ran out of the room and out of the shop. Watanuki made to go after her but Doumeki held him back.

“Let her go, Watanuki.” He whispered as he pulled Watanuki into his embrace. “Nothing we say now can comfort her.”

“Still...” Watanuki replied, leaning into Doumeki’s warm body. “It feels wrong to just leave her like that.”

Doumeki ran his hand up and down Watanuki’s back as if to comfort him. “Anymore words will only hurt her more.” 

Watanuki wrapped his arms around Doumeki and held tightly to his shirt. He had been right. The rest of the day had been ruined. It seemed wrong to do any kind of celebration now after what had just happened. When he told Doumeki this, the taller man ran his thumb across his cheekbone before kissing him.

“Just stay with me.” Doumeki said and Watanuki caught the barest tremble in his voice.

Now it was his turn to comfort Doumeki. Watanuki laid his head on Doumeki’s chest and whispered, “Idiot. Who said I’d ever leave you?”


	2. Shizuka Na Hibi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All food inspiration comes from this certain channel in Youtube: cookingwithdog. Thanks for reading and enjoy! ^_^

Watanuki’s days went by without so much as a second thought from him. It was his nights that stayed in his mind.

It usually began with Doumeki arriving at the shop from work. If Watanuki was running low on supplies, he was sure to send Doumeki to the grocery first. That was why on some days Doumeki arrived with plastic bags, looking a little dazed. 

Watanuki wondered at this so one time, he sent Mokona with Doumeki. After they returned, he had prodded Mokona until the black manju bun had confessed that the reason Doumeki looked like that was he took so long picking out the ingredients, especially if they were fresh produce. Before Watanuki could say anything, Mokona had quipped that Doumeki probably wanted to get the best for Watanuki. The snide remark forming on his lips died away at that and Watanuki couldn’t help smiling.

Doumeki rarely helped out with dinner preparations but he did insist on cleaning up and washing the dishes after Watanuki. While Watanuki was cooking, Doumeki would usually stand to one side, watching Watanuki with interest and satisfaction.

Sometimes, Watanuki wanted to hit him for having such a stupid expression on his face but the way Doumeki ate the food he cooked with gusto, the way he closed his eyes with each bite, the way he sometimes let out a very soft moan made up for whatever irritation Watanuki felt.

He couldn’t understand for the life of him what made the food he prepared any different from the food other people prepared. Doumeki had once told him that even the _kaisendon_ * Kohane-chan made tasted differently from the one he made. Watanuki thought that he was being silly because Kohane-chan was a great cook.

“But she isn’t you.” Doumeki had insisted. “The food is bound to taste differently.”

After dinner, Maru and Moro (and sometimes Mokona too, when he wanted extra servings of liquor) helped with the cleaning up. While the dishes were being done, Watanuki would prepare some tea or, if it was a special occasion, good sake. He’d bring these to the veranda and wait for Doumeki and the rest to join him there.

There were some nights when Mokona and the girls would disappear into one of the rooms in the house, leaving him and Doumeki alone. If he was forced to admit it, Watanuki’s heart always raced just a bit but it was these nights that he loved.  
Out on the veranda they would talk about different things, from goings-on in the world outside the shop to Doumeki’s work. They’d talk or fall into silence. Whichever it was, Watanuki never once felt awkward until it was time to go to bed. Though they had been together for quite some time now, Watanuki always felt like a school boy when it came to bedtime.

Should he invite Doumeki to follow him to his room? But they always slept together since they became a couple so there was no reason to give an invitation, right? But what if Doumeki misunderstood it as Watanuki not wanting him in his bed that night? But what reason would Doumeki have to think such thoughts?

Watanuki’s thoughts would go helter-skelter with the idea but it was Doumeki, the ever reliable Doumeki, who would save him the trouble. It wasn’t always the same words but Doumeki would say something like “You look tired. Why don’t _we_ go to bed?”

A blush would creep up his up his cheeks and Watanuki would resort to old habits and turn his back on Doumeki then. But once they were inside his room, Doumeki made sure that Watanuki’s attention was all on him. 

In the morning, Watanuki would be the first to wake but he didn’t get out of bed at once. He’d stay wrapped in Doumeki’s strong arms, allowing Doumeki’s warmth to seep into his skin. Watanuki spent a good time studying Doumeki before finally kissing him on his cheek and getting out of bed.

===

It happened so suddenly, Doumeki felt like he had been side swiped.

He was dragged by the professor all the way to Hokkaido for field work. He had only enough time to stop by his house and hastily pack a bag before he was whisked off to another island. On the way to the train station, Doumeki’s phone rang and it didn’t surprise him that it was Watanuki calling.

“I’m sorry I can’t be there tonight.” Doumeki whispered.

Only silence could be heard on the line. Doumeki wondered if Watanuki was still there or he had hung up already.

“It’s all right.” Watanuki replied.

“No, it isn’t.” Doumeki almost hissed. 

The professor, who was driving, glanced at him with a raised brow. Doumeki averted his gaze and concentrated on the dashboard. 

“Doumeki,” Watanuki said, “Don’t worry about it.”

And then Watanuki did hang up which made Doumeki frown.

“Trouble with your girlfriend? I’ll apologize to her when we return.” The professor asked with a sympathetic look.  
Doumeki shook his head, “There’s nothing to worry about.”

But truth be told, he did worry about. There was nothing to show for that but the tension he was feeling seemed to infect everyone in the field. When night fell, Doumeki stared a long time at the empty futon before lying down. He must have been very tired because he fell asleep instantly.

_Doumeki looked around, turning his head slowly. He was in the grounds of his family’s temple. Above him, the moon shone full and bright. In the stillness of the night, he could hear two distinct voices discussing something._

_Turning towards the house, he made his way around it until he came to the garden. Underneath a wisteria tree in full bloom, Doumeki saw Watanuki conversing with someone who looked just like him except that he held a cigarette._

Oji-san _, Doumeki thought._

_The man swivelled in his direction and smiled. He turned to Watanuki and said something that made Watanuki roll his eyes before he left. As his grandfather shimmered and disappeared, Doumeki moved closer to Watanuki until they were only an arm’s length away._

_“You idiot.” Watanuki said with a scowl, “I told you not to worry about it, didn’t I?”_

_“I couldn’t help it.” Doumeki answered._

_Watanuki snorted but took a step towards Doumeki. “You worried so much that it caught the attention of Haruka-san.”_

_“I couldn’t help it.”_

_Watanuki rolled his eyes even as he wrapped his arms around Doumeki’s neck, “Well then...We’ll have to remedy that.”_

_Then Watanuki was kissing him and threading his fingers through his hair. Doumeki sighed into the kiss, making Watanuki pull him closer._

_When they parted to catch a breath, Doumeki whispered, “I’ll be back home as soon as possible.”_

_Watanuki smiled at that, “I’ll be there when you do.”_

===

They were lying side by side, facing each other under a warm blanket. Winter had already started to ebb away but the nights were still chilly. Watanuki snuggled closer to Doumeki’s warmth. It was unbelievable how much Doumeki had grown since their school days. He was a good head taller than him and his shoulders had widened. His arms too were more muscular but Watanuki put that down to all the archery practice Doumeki did.

But he wasn’t complaining, really. All this growth only meant that when he snuggled against Doumeki, every inch of his slight body was delightfully warmed. He could actually stay in that position forever and he knew that Doumeki was so inclined too.

“Watanuki.” Doumeki said in a sleepy voice.

“Hmm? What is it?” Watanuki asked, wondering why Doumeki was awake when it was a long time till dawn.

“I want to have extra special food on my birthday.” Doumeki whispered.

Watanuki moved away a little and looked at Doumeki with an incredulous expression. How and why that sentence ever formed in Doumeki’s head, Watanuki didn’t know. And in the wee hours of the morning too! Of course, he was going to make something _extra_ special for Doumeki’s birthday. What did he think Watanuki would do then? Order take-out?

He punched Doumeki lightly on his chest. “Idiot. You should be glad I’m still cooking for you.”

Doumeki only raised his brow at that but Watanuki could have sworn that the tiniest of smiles tugged his lips. “I’ll go shopping for the ingredients then.”

Watanuki rolled his eyes and rested his forehead against Doumeki’s chest, “Whatever. Take Kohane-chan with you. She said she wanted to make something for your birthday so she’ll probably want something from the stores too.”

“Thank you.”

Watanuki snorted, “You can be such an idiot a lot of times.”

“But you love me. So what does that make you?” Doumeki replied, rubbing his nose against the top of Watanuki’s head.

Watanuki made a derisive noise and chose not to dignify that question with an answer. But the small voice at the back his head answered for him.

 _Your beloved_.


	3. Enishi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don’t flame me after you read this... It’s only the third part, after all. *sheepish expression*

The afternoon of March 1...

Just as Watanuki had hoped for, the sky remained clear. That was good. It meant that the little birthday party they would be having for Doumeki would take place in the garden as planned. It wasn’t really a formal party, more like a birthday picnic under the blooming trees. That was the way Doumeki liked it and Watanuki didn’t argue.

Watanuki glanced over his shoulder at the clock that hung from the wall. It was just a quarter past two. That meant that Doumeki’s class had already ended. At three, Kohane’s class would end so Doumeki would probably wait for her. They’d be going to the grocery together, after all.

He returned his gaze to the bowl of white flour in front of him. That gave him some time to bake and decorate the cake. Maybe he could also get started on one or two of the dishes? He had most of the ingredients here anyway and it’ll make it easier for everyone later. He’d be done by the time Kohane and Doumeki arrived so Kohane would have the kitchen all to herself.

Smiling, he remembered how he had wondered what Kohane planned to make. He had tried to pry it out of her the past few days so they wouldn’t be making the same dishes but she had remained adamantly silent on that. She had only smiled sweetly and said that it was a surprise. 

Oba-san was much more accommodating with information. She had confided that Kohane had been practicing making _onigiri_ with as many different stuffing she could think of. Salmon flakes, mashed eggs, shredded cheese...Kohane had gone on and on trying to find the perfect stuffing. Remembering the long list of stuffing Oba-san had recited made Watanuki’s smile widen. Well, there was no doubt that they would be having a varied array of _onigiri_ tonight.

He began to measure out the other ingredients for the cake. Through the window, he could see that Maru and Moro were already bringing out a huge woven mat. They laid it on the grass under the shade of a tree then started to chase Mokona all over it. He chuckled and went back to the cake.

Thirty minutes later, the cake was nearly done and Watanuki was chopping up some ingredients. Outside, Moro and Maru had already finished bringing out a low table. Now they were playing around with the table cloth, pretending that it was a parachute. Watanuki opened the window and called out to them.

“Be careful with that! You don’t want to rip it.”

“ _Hai_!” They answered in unison, laying the table cloth on the table and smoothing out the creases.

He went back to chopping when the potato slipped from his grasp just as he brought the knife down. The sharp pain jolted him, making him gasp. He lifted his hand and saw that his pinky finger was bleeding. He stared long and hard at it before running out of the kitchen.

His heart began to race for some reason. Watanuki wasn’t sure why. He told himself that he was just in a hurry to get to the first aid kit so that he could do something about his finger and return to cooking. Kohane and Doumeki could be here anytime soon and if he wasn’t finished by then...

Doumeki...

Suddenly, he was hearing Yuuko’s voice in his head. _Remember what a pinky finger represents, Watanuki_. He swallowed a lump, not noticing that he had run past the cupboard that held the first aid kit. Instead, he found himself heading towards the front door at full speed. Once he got there, he threw the door wide open and ran outside.

He slowed to a stop when he saw Kohane and Doumeki standing near the gate.

“Kohane-chan...Doumeki...you’re early...” Watanuki said slowly, although that wasn’t what he really wanted to say.

He knew.

He knew, even from the distance he was standing. He knew without looking at Kohane who was clearly trying to stop herself from crying. He knew what had happened. 

He knew the truth.

“Watanuki-kun!” Kohane said in a strangled cry, unable to stifle her sobs any longer.

She ran to him and literally flew into his embrace. She buried her face in his robes and wept. Watanuki wrapped one arm around her and used the other to stroke her hair comfortingly. He could feel his eyes brimming with tears too and soon, both of them were crying.

“Kohane-chan...” Watanuki forced himself to say, “Why don’t you go inside? I need to do something first.”

Kohane looked up at him with puffy eyes and nodded, “I’ll wait for you.”

She freed herself from Watanuki’s embrace and made her way to the door. When she was inside, Watanuki turned his gaze to Doumeki who was still standing near the gate. With hesitant steps, Watanuki moved towards him. He felt a chill run down his spine. 

How did it happen? Was it quick and sudden? It must be. Watanuki couldn’t think of any way that it could have long and drawn out. Doumeki had no serious illness to speak of. So then... An accident?

He stopped a foot away from Doumeki and closed his eyes. His mind warred against believing that Doumeki had died but his heart had known the truth from the moment he saw him and Kohane at the gate.

Doumeki was dead.

“Watanuki...”

And yet Watanuki could still hear his voice, could still feel the rushing of air against his skin when Doumeki sighed. He opened his eyes and placed his hands on Doumeki’s cool cheeks.

“If you stay within the grounds of this shop...”

Watanuki found that he couldn’t finish the sentence. He bowed his head as tears streamed down his face. He tried to gulp back his cries but they escaped his lips nonetheless. He hadn’t thought that Doumeki would be taken from him so suddenly. He’d always thought that Doumeki would reach a ripe old age before morbid thoughts of death entered his mind.

But now...

He forced himself to stop crying, just long enough to finish what he had wanted to say. “Doumeki, as long as you are here—”

But Doumeki didn’t let him finish. With a desperation Watanuki had not seen in a long while, Doumeki pulled him into a tight albeit cold embrace and pressed his lips against Watanuki’s ear. With Doumeki so near, Watanuki almost believed that he was alive but the coldness told him the harsh truth over and over again.

“Doumeki...” Watanuki whispered as he wrapped his arms around Doumeki’s waist.

“Watanuki, there’s nowhere else I want to be.”

 

===

 

“I don’t know exactly what happened.” Kohane murmured. She set the cup of hot chocolate down on the table. “But the moment it happened, I felt it and I ran out of my class. It looked like a truck had hit Shizuka-kun.” 

She paused to take another sip from the cup. “One of the professors at the scene told me that he and Shizuka-kun had gone to the bookshop across the street to get some books. As they were leaving, they saw two guys pestering a girl. Shizuka-kun stopped them but one of them who was bigger than Shizuka-kun punched him and...”

Kohane’s voice trailed into silence. Watanuki tilted his head to look up at the ceiling. He could see it all too clearly in his mind: Doumeki stepping up to help the girl, Doumeki getting into a scuffle, Doumeki getting punched, Doumeki stumbling backward just when a truck was zooming down the road.

Instinctively, Watanuki shut his eyes as if to shut out the images that came tumbling out of his mind. He could only imagine what a horrifying scene it must have been, the sight of a man getting hit with such force that he had died instantaneously. In his mind, he saw Kohane’s reaction the moment it happened, the fear and anguish she must have felt.

“Kohane-chan, thank you for bringing Doumeki here.” He whispered.

Kohane looked at him and smiled sadly, “He wanted to be here.”

They lapsed into silence which was broken only by Kohane’s sipping and the breeze rattling against the door.

“Kohane-chan,” Watanuki said gently as he got up, “I have a favour to ask of you.” When Kohane nodded, Watanuki continued. “There is something I need you to get for me. It’s something that Yuuko-san gave to Doumeki. He was probably carrying it with him today.”

He leaned closer and explained to Kohane what exactly it was and how to get it should she encounter any problems. When he was sure that Kohane understood his instructions, he gave her one last hug and made to leave the room.

“Don’t worry about the cup, Kohane-chan. Just leave it on the table. I’ll get it in the morning so take your time with the hot chocolate.” Watanuki said as he opened the door.

“Thank you, Watanuki-kun.”

He smiled and stepped out of the room. Just when he closed the door, he heard Kohane whisper “I’m sorry, Watanuki-kun.”

Watanuki bent forward until his forehead touched the screen, “I’m sorry too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It seems like in the manga and anime, spirits or ghosts have solid physical bodies in Yuuko’s shop like the girl ghost who was given bells to make her home less scary. I went with that idea here. ^_^


	4. Lost Heart

Watanuki stared at the lacquered rose wood box as if it were something ominous. Well, not the box itself but its contents, though why he should feel anxious about it, Watanuki had no idea. What he did know was that he couldn’t touch it and that was why he had sent Kohane to get the egg that Yuuko had given to Doumeki.

He gave the box a last long hard look before getting up and shuffling out of the room. The house was silent, even if it was only just past sunset. The cicadas that made a comforting buzz were nowhere to be heard. Perhaps they too felt the sadness that had enveloped this place? Even Maru and Moro had grown quiet, plaintive at times. They spoke in whispers and their gait had lost its sprightly spring.

Watanuki made his way down a corridor, pausing two doors from his room. He reached out and placed a hand on the delicate screen but made no move to open the door. He didn’t have to open it to know that Doumeki was sitting in the middle of the room, meditating. Doumeki did that almost the whole day. In fact, it was the first thing that Doumeki did the day after his arrival at the shop and he refused to spend time with Watanuki.

Which, if Watanuki was forced to admit, hurt him so much he had almost wished Doumeki would just go already and leave him in peace because, if anything, Doumeki’s arrival at the shop in the state that he was in disturbed Watanuki, made him feel a rage that he had never felt before.

Because Watanuki knew...

He knew now that Doumeki’s death was not natural.

 

===

 

The only other time that he had seen Doumeki was the first night after his arrival. He had been doing his usual rounds of the shop grounds when he had spotted Doumeki standing under a wisteria tree in full bloom. Despite the breeze that made the flowers and branches sway, Doumeki’s clothes remained still, a sure sign that though he was there, he was detached from the physical world.

He had quickly made his way to Doumeki but when Doumeki became aware of his presence, the archer had started towards the shop. Watanuki had quickened his pace and had gotten to Doumeki just in time to grab the edge of his sleeve.

“Doumeki, please.” He had said, not knowing what he was asking of Doumeki.

The taller man had stared down at him before pulling his sleeve out of Watanuki’s grasp, “Good night, Watanuki.”

And those three words broke Watanuki’s heart because they had been said with such finality it was like they were farewells. Watanuki wasn’t going to have any of that. There had to be a way. There _must_ be a way! If he had to keep Doumeki here until he found a way to restore him, he would. But Doumeki had to help him! He couldn’t just keep pushing Watanuki away.

Doumeki must have sense his agitation because he turned to Watanuki and cupped his cheek. Despite the utter lack of warmth, Watanuki held his hand closer to his cheek and sighed just as tears rolled down from his eyes.

“Watanuki, the dead and the living don’t mingle. They _cannot_.” Doumeki whispered.

Watanuki’s closed his eyes and pressed Doumeki’s hand even closer, “Then why did you come here?”

Doumeki placed his other hand on Watanuki’s shoulder and pulled him closer. Then suddenly, Watanuki felt Doumeki’s lips on his, a soft kiss that barely gave any comfort.

“You know the answer to that.”

Despite himself, Watanuki grabbed Doumeki by his shoulders and kissed him hard, willing his body heat to seep into Doumeki and give him life. The archer let out a small gasp and, abandoning what he had said earlier about the dead and the living, he began to reciprocate earnestly. 

At first it was a shock for Watanuki to feel a cold tongue mingle with his own warm one but he didn’t break off the kiss. This was Doumeki and Doumeki in any form was still Doumeki and Watanuki would still love him. 

It was only when his sobs got the better of him that Watanuki pulled away and rested his forehead on Doumeki’s shoulder. The other man sighed and pulled him into a tight embrace, stroking his back in a comforting manner.

After a few minutes, Doumeki let him go. He kissed him lightly on the forehead and said, “Good night, Watanuki.” This time, the tone of finality was gone, which made Watanuki smile.

“See you in the morning.”

 

===

Watanuki pressed his forehead against the screen as if he could gain the strength he need for the task ahead. After only a few seconds, which seemed like minutes to Watanuki, he moved away and headed to his room.

Once inside, he closed and bolted the door, which was quite useless against the residents of the shop. There were other ways of getting inside but Watanuki felt a silly sense of reassurance in doing so. He then moved to the center of the room where he sat down. He pulled out a small piece of parchment from his pocket and laid it in front of him.

The parchment was aged and cracking at the edges but the figures drawn on to it stood stark against its cream face, as if they had been painted only that day. Yuuko had told him that this was in fact a hundred years old, something that Clow Reed himself had used. Thinking about that made Watanuki smile fondly but the thought of the task ahead made him frown immediately.

It could only go either well or bad and Watanuki hoped that it was the former.

He secured the edges of the parchment on the tatami mat with sewing pins. Next he took out another pin with which he pricked his finger. As fat drops of blood fell onto the parchment, Watanuki murmured an incantation. As the words flowed from his lips, he felt his power stirring within him, warming his body. Oh how he wished he could feel the same warmth from Doumeki!

A small frown creased his brow. Yes, that’s exactly why he was doing this! 

As the spell rose to a crescendo, Watanuki put forth power into a single thought.

_Show me who granted Ezawa Miyuki’s wish._

 

===

 

_Oh._ Watanuki thought, _I should have known_.

The spell had transported him to the basement of some building. Pipes ran along the length of the room above him and down some of the corners. Just a few feet away from him was a high back chair made from what looked like mahogany. On this chair sat a smug looking man dressed in a black two piece suit and red shirt, his boots gleaming like a beetle’s carapace. He his smiling in an infuriating way at Watanuki as he rested his chin in the cup of his hand.

“This is a surprise.” He said in a smooth voice, “No one comes here without my permission but you’ve done it. Bravo!”

By “permission”, Watanuki knew that he meant the numerous spells zigzagging across the room. An ordinary person would have been zapped to ashes if he had tried to sneak into this room.

That comment made Watanuki huff with pride. He was not the heir to Yuuko’s shop for nothing. Compared to him, the man, though powerful in his own right and in this world, was still a nobody. He couldn’t cross dimensions like Watanuki and his power to grant wishes was meager. Still, the fact that he had been able to grant Ezawa Miyuki’s wish from a whole different world put Watanuki on the defensive.

“I should call you out for being a poacher, Monou Fuuma.” Watanuki said in an even voice. “Keep your tentacles to yourself. Why did you grant Ezawa Miyuki’s wish from another world?”

“My my.” Fuuma said, “We are being testy. What can I do but grant that poor girl’s wishes when it was screaming out to be granted across the void between worlds? She wished to be with a man and if that couldn’t be, she wished that he would never belong to anyone.”

“A man _died_ before his time because of that wish.” Watanuki said, anger just hinting in his voice. 

“Oh? Shame about that.”

No sooner had those words left Fuuma’s lips that Watanuki showed his strength without moving a muscle. Fuuma let out a soft gasp as two deep wound appeared, one on his cheek and the other on his neck, just above the collar of his shirt. He touched a finger to the wound on his cheek and snarled.

“What’s this? A show of pitiful pow—”

“You don’t get it, do you?” Watanuki seethed, “I can sense you across the void. You try one more funny thing and I promise you those wounds will multiply and burn and nothing, not even the magic of the dark mage upstairs or the whole magic of this world can save you. Am I understood?”

Fuuma leaned back with an expression that was mix of defeat and petulance. “What a plucky seventeen year old you are. Who made you what you were?”

“That is none of your business.”

“Maybe.” Fuuma answered, a malicious smile curling his lips, “But I sure can make that wish fermenting in your heart come true.”

This time, it was Watanuki’s turn to smile, “What do you know about my heart or any heart for that matter? You‘ve lost yours. You have no heart with which to understand mine.”

With that, Watanuki summoned a gateway to his world and left.


	5. Lost Memory

Pale sunlight streamed in through the open screen doors but it did little to lighten Watanuki’s mood. Three days had passed since Doumeki’s death and he had only seen Doumeki once in those three days. Well, Doumeki refused to be seen and Watanuki understood that. But it just seemed too sad that they were almost avoiding each other within the confines of the shop.

To take his mind off that problem, Watanuki had set himself to work. The first task he had accomplished: finding who had granted that girl’s wish that had ended up with Doumeki’s death. It shouldn’t have surprised him when he saw that it was Monou Fuuma. That dragon of earth did have wish granting abilities. Watanuki was not so naive that he thought himself to be the only one who could grant wishes. But the carefree—or should he say careless?—way that Fuuma went about wish granting irked him. Just like Yuuko, he would never grant a wish that would require a life as payment or even a wish that meant killing someone but Fuuma...

So Watanuki had set him straight and he hoped that that would be the end of it.

The next task was attending Doumeki’s wake. He had slipped in and out of dreams to get to the temple and halfway there, Haruka had appeared to accompany him.

“I see my grandson is staying at the shop.” Haruka had said through a puff of cigarette smoke.

“He doesn’t want to be anywhere else.”

Haruka smiled, “Of course. But have you thought of the consequences of that action?”

Watanuki had only smiled at the question. Of course, he had thought about the consequences. He was still thinking about it days later. He wasn’t doing all of this for nothing. He was biding his time, trying to come up with a plan to make sure Doumeki wasn’t snatched from him.

He had thought about doing what Clow Reed had done for Yuuko but he wasn’t sure if that would work a second time. And even that ended up in disaster for them. No. Watanuki wanted a better way, a way that would allow them to be together.

It was a selfish thought but, Watanuki mused, _What is loving someone if you don’t fight for them?_

Doumeki’s death was wrong. It had been an aberration. If it hadn’t been for Fuuma, Doumeki would have lived to a ripe old age. Surely anyone would see the injustice in what had just happened. Surely, there was a way to...

Watanuki’s gaze trailed to the veranda. Someone had come to the shop, not a customer, no. Someone with considerable powers, more than what Watanuki would ever have even if he stayed lifetimes in the shop. And so his third task was at hand.

He stood up and smoothened his gray tunic with his hands. He was adjusting the crescent moon brooch near his neck when Maru and Moro appeared, respectfully leading a tall silver-haired man. He wore sweeping robes of crimson, the edges lined in black and silver. He had a stern countenance, much like what a teacher would give an erring student. Perhaps that was what Watanuki was to him because his expression became that much sterner when his gaze met Watanuki’s.

“Ah.” Watanuki said as he moved away from the couch and bowed, “Shinigami-sama, I have been waiting for you.”

“So you are the new shopkeeper.” He said it more as a fact than a question and Watanuki only bowed lower to that.

“I am. My predecessor is gone.” He replied softly.

“Your predecessor is dead.” The god of death said sharply. Watanuki felt like a knife had cut through his heart to hear it said so firmly by one who was a master of the afterlife but he had no chance to dwell on it as the other man continued speaking. “And I have come to collect a person you have in your keeping.”

 _Doumeki_.  Watanuki thought as he squeezed his eyes shut for a few moments. This, his final task, was the most important thing he had to accomplish. He had to somehow convince the shinigami to let Doumeki stay. All kinds of reasons tumbled in his mind. Doumeki’s penultimate wish was to be with him and as master of a shop that granted wishes, Watanuki was doing him poorly if he refused to grant that wish.

“Shinigami-sama,” Watanuki said as steadily as he could as he straightened up, “The man you speak of has a wish which I am bound to grant.”

“Why?” The shinigami sneered, “Because he was your lover? Such things don’t concern me. He is dead and his soul does not belong here.” When Watanuki opened his mouth to say something, the shinigami cut him off, “Do not try to bargain with me. I do not care about the manner of his death. The dead and the living do not mingle. They cannot.”

There was the sound of a door opening. Watanuki whirled around and saw Doumeki standing in the doorway, dressed in a white yukata. He shuffled into the room and barely gave Watanuki a glance as he stood in front of the shinigami and bowed.

“Shinigami-sama, I beg to have a word with you before you do anything.” Doumeki said. Then he bowed lower, “Please.”

An amused smile flitted across the shinigami’s lips but the disapproving expression still remained. With a curt nod, the shinigami turned and headed towards the garden. Doumeki made to follow him but Watanuki grabbed him by the arm.

“What do you think you are doing, idiot!” He whispered through clenched teeth.

“You haven’t called me an idiot in a long time.”

“What?” Watanuki replied. He couldn’t believe what Doumeki had just said.

Doumeki smiled and ran his thumb across Watanuki’s cheekbone, “Everything will be fine. I promise.”

“You can’t promise me that!”

Doumeki took hold of Watanuki’s hand and gently pried it away from his own, “I promised I’d never leave you, remember? This is me living up to that promise.”

With that, Doumeki let go of his arm and followed the shinigami into the garden. Watanuki didn’t know why but it looked like a scene straight out of his nightmare: Doumeki following the god of death to a place where Watanuki couldn’t follow.

His hand flew to his chest and clutched a fistful of fabric there. He wished with all his heart that this was not going to be the first time Doumeki broke a promise.

 

===

 

Several minutes later, Watanuki saw Doumeki returning with a small smile on his face. He ran outside to meet him halfway, intent on asking him how it had gone. Was he staying? Would Watanuki be punished? But Doumeki only shook his head even before Watanuki had opened his mouth and told him that the shinigami wanted to see him.

Watanuki gulped down a lump that had lodged itself in his throat. See him? His mind whirred, madly conjuring up reasons for it. Deep calming breaths steadied him as he made his way to the same wisteria tree where he had had a conversation with Doumeki just a few nights ago.

There he found the shinigami who had taken the liberty of plucking a sprig laden with wisteria blossoms. When he saw Watanuki, he smiled and motioned for him to come closer.

The smile...Now that was surprising. What had Doumeki said to him that had completely erased the disapproval that had been so apparent just moments ago?

Watanuki hurried and stopped only when he was only a few feet away.

“Just because my office is death, Watanuki, does not mean I do not know love.” The shinigami said. “People have lived, died and come back to life because of it. It connects people beyond space and time, even beyond my own power.”

Watanuki bowed his head, unsure of what to say. But finally he lifted his gaze and said, “I love Doumeki.”

“And Doumeki loves you.” The shinigami replied, “So I have seen. I haven’t forgotten how he had shared his blood to save you from death. But the dead and the living cannot mingle.”

“I don’t exactly fit into the definition of living.” Watanuki said wistfully.

“No. No, you don’t.” The shinigami tucked the spring of wisteria blossoms into his silver sash so that there was splash of lavender at his waist. “But like everything, your time will come and I will be waiting. Until then, I will leave the two of you in peace as long as Shizuka stays in the shop.”

Watanuki’s head shot up, “Is that...Are you...Is that wise, Shinigami-sama?”

The shinigami laughed, “To be wise, Watanuki, I would have never listened to Shizuka’s protestations and I would not be making such bargains with you.”

Watanuki felt his cheeks warm up, “I...Thank you so much.” He bowed low to punctuate just how grateful he felt.

Suddenly, he felt a hand on his shoulder, pulling him straight up. The shinigami was smiling again but this time it was clearly a melancholic smile as if this scene reminded him of something.

“Go now and be with your beloved.”

Watanuki didn’t have to be told twice. He thanked the shinigami profusely before dashing back to the shop.

 

===

 

From somewhere in the shop, a clock struck midnight. No other sound could be heard except the chimes and soft moans coming from one of the rooms.

Watanuki pulled away from the kiss and laid his head on Doumeki’s chest. He pressed his ear closer to hear the faint _thub-dub_ of Doumeki’s heart. It was the most beautiful sound he heard and he knew that he could stay in like that, listening to Doumeki’s heart beat, for days on end.

And then there was the heat that was slowly coming back to Doumeki. At first, Watanuki had thought it was just his imagination but Doumeki had kissed him fiercely to prove him wrong. It had only been a week since that fatal day that turned Doumeki into a chilly shadow of what he once was but to Watanuki it had seemed an eternity. And now his living breathing Doumeki was back and Watanuki could put the past few days done as just another nightmare he had woken up from.

“Watanuki.” Doumeki murmured, “Aren’t you going to ask?”

He pushed himself up and looked down at Doumeki, “Ask what?”

“What I said to the shinigami to convince him to let me stay with you.”

Watanuki smiled and ran his forefinger along Doumeki’s nose, stopping at Doumeki’s lips. “Shh. Not now. I want this moment to be about us and only us.”

Doumeki shifted until it was Watanuki who was lying on the bed and he was straddling Watanuki’s slim hips, “Grandfather kept apocryphal books in his library. Some of them contained stories about deities.” He raked his fingers through Watanuki’s hair, “I remembered one story concerning the god of death and how it had always broken his heart to be the one to escort the mortals he loved to the afterlife.”

Watanuki’s eyes widened in realization, “Oh no you didn’t, did you? Are you telling me you told him that story?”

The other man frowned, then shrugged, “I guess it worked.”

Watanuki covered his face with his hands, “I cannot believe you did that, you big oaf! What if it _hadn’t_ worked!”

“But it did.” Doumeki replied flatly.

Watanuki’s groan was muffled by his palms. Trust Doumeki to do something so ridiculously outrageous and risky! What if that had angered the shinigami? Watanuki let out another groan. Someday, someday that utter lack of forward thinking was going to get Doumeki and him into trouble.

“Watanuki.” Doumeki whispered in an insistent voice.

When Watanuki refused to answer, Doumeki whispered his name again as he pried Watanuki’s hands away from his face.

“Look at me, Watanuki.”

Watanuki sighed and held Doumeki’s gaze just as he reached out to pull Doumeki closer until their hips touched. He heard Doumeki’s breath hitch and he shifted so that he brought Doumeki’s heat closer to his own.

He laid his hands on Doumeki’s cheeks, “I have missed you.”

Doumeki answered by swooping down and kissing him deeply. Watanuki moaned, granting more access to his mouth. In the next few seconds, they had shed their clothes and Doumeki once again declared his undying love for Watanuki through kisses that trailed from his lips to his groin.

As Doumeki entered him, Watanuki knew for a fact that he had come back to him. He could feel the heat one only feels from a living person fill him until his fingertips. Watanuki moaned as Doumeki started a soothing rhythm, hitting all of the right spots.

And when they come almost together, they cried each other name out and when Watanuki realized this, he felt warm tears roll down his cheeks. Almost immediately, he felt Doumeki kissing the wet trail up to his eyes.

“I love you, Watanuki Kimihiro. I will always love you in this life and in the next.”

A strangled cry escaped from Watanuki as he threw his arms around Doumeki’s neck and pulled him in a tight embrace, never minding that he was about to crush himself under Doumeki’s weight. They clung to each other like there was no tomorrow, although they knew that now they had all the time in the world to love each other.

The next morning found them in each other’s embrace, contented smiles on their lips.


	6. Epilogue [Zashiki Warashi]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last part! YAHOO! ^_^

_”You have a friend, a guy who you fight with all the time, right? Your bond will become much deeper from now on.”_

Watanuki’s eyes flew open when he heard those words. Oh, he hadn’t heard that soothing voice in a very long time. How long has it been? No, he’d lost count at four centuries. It had been longer than that, he was sure and how pleasant it was that he heard Oba-san’s voice again.

He rolled over and snorted when he found the space next to him empty. And cold too, which meant Doumeki had long since woken up. He rolled onto his back and smiled. He could imagine what Doumeki had been up to since he woke up, probably at the crack of dawn. 

He’d first do early morning meditation that would last until the sun had risen fully. Then he would go about sweeping the ground, even if Maru and Moro insisted that it was their duty to do so. Then he’d go back to their room and if Watanuki wasn’t up yet, he’d wake him with languorous kisses, then declare what he wanted for breakfast.

A soft pitter patter of feet caught Watanuki’s ear. And here he came...

He turned his head towards the door just as Doumeki opened slid it open. Watanuki’s eyes widened slightly when he saw what Doumeki held in his hand. It was the lacquered rose wood box which contained the egg. He immediately sat up and made to get out of bed but Doumeki had already crossed the room and was moving towards the bed.

He sat down near Watanuki and placed the box between them.

“I had a dream last night.” Doumeki said. “Yuuko was in it.”

Watanuki breathed in sharply, then exhaled slowly. “What did she say?”

“That there were strings of fate you had to stop holding on to so that you can keep holding on to another.”

Watanuki smiled. Ah, Yuuko. Sharp as ever. It hurt him a little that she would show herself to Doumeki and not to him but he guessed that she had her reasons. If she had appeared to him, may be her words would have been lost to him. He gave a small chuckle and leaned forward to kiss Doumeki’s nose.

“Sly Yuuko. She always knew how to push my buttons.”

“Her words got me thinking, Kimihiro.” Doumeki began and Watanuki sat up straighter because Doumeki only ever used his first name when he had something important to say.

“It got me thinking about the egg. She told me that I would know when to use it and I think...” He paused for a few seconds, “I think now is the time.”

And saying so, Doumeki opened the box. Nestled against the thick velvet lining was an ordinary looking egg but its shell was gleaming. When Doumeki reached out and touched it, a flash of yellow light lit the room for a minute before it died down. They looked inside the box and saw that instead of an egg, there were two gold rings.

Doumeki picked one up and began to study. From where he sat, Watanuki could see that there were etchings on the outside and inside of the rings. He took the other one and held it closely so that he could see what was written on it.

_Together forever, in this life and in this world, in all lives and in all worlds. Hitsuzen_

Watanuki let out a soft gasp as a wave of emotions began to build up in his gut. He looked up at Doumeki and saw that Doumeki was smiling. Then, Doumeki reached out for his hand and slipped the ring onto his finger, intoning the same words on the ring. 

Watanuki frowned and muttered “ _Romantic idiot_ ” but he took Doumeki’s hand anyway and slipped the ring onto his finger.

“I’d like fried _gyoza_ for breakfast please.” Doumeki said as soon as the ring was comfortably on his finger.

Watanuki punched him lightly on the arm and threw a mock glare at him, “That’s not what you say after exchanging rings!”

“Then what do you say?”

Watanuki rolled his eyes and scooted closer to Doumeki. He took Doumeki’s arm and laid it across his shoulder, then rested his head on Doumeki’s shoulder.

They stayed like that for the rest of the morning.


End file.
